


Welcome To Hell

by sixth_dr_whomst, StoneForests, worry



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms
Genre: Group chat, Multi, Shippy if you Squint, Time Lord Ianto Jones, i can't help my gay heart, it's honestly just one big shitpost, missy is thirsty af, okay maybe more than a little shippy, this is hell honestly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-10 00:26:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15279543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixth_dr_whomst/pseuds/sixth_dr_whomst, https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoneForests/pseuds/StoneForests, https://archiveofourown.org/users/worry/pseuds/worry
Summary: canon is deadlong live the hellverse





	1. what the fuck did you just say you little-

**ScienceQueen has joined the chat**   
Fook: JODIE SHITTERS JODIE SHITTERS JODIE SHITTERS   
**ScienceQueen has left the chat**

**VizzyT has joined the chat**

VizzyT: doctor whom the FUCK is jodie shitters

Fook: me binch

Fook: i am the real jodie shitters

VizzyT:  _ my  _ doctor would never have done this. 

Fook: then perish

**notacatfurry has joined the chat**

notacatfurry: blease

**ScienceQueen has joined the chat**   
ScienceQueen: you are in fact a cat furry and i have proof

notacatfurry: INCORRECT

**CeleryFucker420 has joined the chat**

CeleryFucker420: What’s going on here?

ScienceQueen: future you is a cat furry

notacatfurry: WOULD YOU READ MY FUCKING USERNAM IM NOT A CAT FURRY

ScienceQueen: consider this: both you and the master are cat furries, i am the only pure one

notacatfurry: FALSE, MASTER ONLY CAT FURRY HERE

notacatfurry: AND SINCE WHEN WERE YOU “””PURE”””

ScienceQueen: since always, bitch

EthMatser: hEY WHO THE FUCK SAID I WAS A FURRY I’LL KILL YOU

ScienceQueen: bitch please

notacatfurry: YOURE A FURRY ITS OKAY JUST ADMIT IT

notacatfurry: IVE HEARD ABOUT CHEETAHS YOU ASSHOLE

CeleryFucker420: Somehow, secretly, I always knew I’d become a furry.

notacatfurry: IM NOT A FURRY OH MY GOD

EthMatser: consider: rani is a furry but for lizards   
EthMatser: a scalie, if you will   
ScienceQueen: FUCK YOU

notacatfurry: yes

EthMatser: you wish sweaty

notacatfurry: this is very true

ScienceQueen: I WILL MURDER YOU BOTH AND IT WILL LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT

VizzyT: Valid, lizards are sexy

notacatfurry: WAIT WHAT

notacatfurry: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY

VizzyT: lizards are sexy?? you can’t deny it. you just can’t

notacatfurry: GAYS JUMP ON THAT TURLOUGHS A SCALIE LEAVE ME ALONE IM NOT THE FURRY HE IS

EthMatser: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

CeleryFucker420: Turlough, I’m disappoined but not surprised

VizzyT: Master, dude, what the FUCK 

EthMatser: i-

EthMatser: i don’t know anymore

EthMatser: what have i become

ScienceQueen: a little bitch

**sixisacatfurry has joined the chat**

sixisacatfurry: WHAT IS LOVE

sixisacatfurry: BABY DONT HURT ME

EthMatser: who is slandering my boyfriend

EthMatser: i mean

EthMatser: my mortal enemy who i hate

sixisacatfurry: peri

sixisacatfurry: hewwo

notacatfurry: since when did you have an account

CeleryFucker420: RIP LMAOOOO

VizzyT: whom is this

VizzyT: I KNEW IT GAYS. I KNEW IT oh hey peri

ScienceQueen: oh is that the bitchy american one?

EthMatser: yeah that’s the one

sixisacatfurry: hewwo scalie

VizzyT: Have you ever regretted saying a sentence

sixisacatfurry: rude

CeleryFucker420: hey don’t be mean to her she’s god

sixisacatfurry: dabs

EthMatser: i wish i murdered you

sixisacatfurry: you wish you murdered a lot of people

VizzyT: I’m going to fuckin. jump through my computer screen and fight you physically . “Matser”

notacatfurry: ur gonna fuck a lizard???

VizzyT: WHAT NO

VizzyT: THE MASTER IS  N O T A LIZARD FUCK YOU how dare you imply that I’m a scalie

EthMatser: aww thanks for defending me, you get to live this time

notacatfurry: yeah no theyre a furry cat

EthMatser: DO YOU WANT ME TO THROW YOU OFF A RADIO TOWER AGAIN   
EthMatser: BECAUSE THAT’S HOW YOU GET THROWN OFF A RADIO TOWER

VizzyT: Bold of you to assume I care about anything

sixisacatfurry: ooof lovers fight

sixisacatfurry: someone get popcorn

ScienceQueen: welcome to my life, human

sixisacatfurry: rip

EthMatser: bitch please you fight with us so often that i have been asked if you’re my bitchy ex wife before

ScienceQueen: who the fuck asked???

EthMatser: way too many people

**CeleryFucker420 has left**

VizzyT: You killed him

VizzyT: you fucking killed him how dare you

EthMatser: you act like that’s a new thing for me

notacatfurry: press f to pay respects

sixisacatfurry: f

VizzyT: F

EthMatser: ...f

ScienceQueen: ……………f

**CeleryFucker420 has joined the chat**

CeleryFucker420: i just shut off my computer to go eat some fucking celery I’m not dead jesus christ

sixisacatfurry: shit everyone redact their fs for respect

EthMatser: redacted

ScienceQueen: i redacted it the minute i sent it

sixisacatfurry: valid

VizzyT: [redacted] ;)

CeleryFucker420: please do not use that emoticon it scares me

EthMatser: ;)

ScienceQueen: your username is stupid you should change it

**EthMatser has changed their username to UshasSucks**

CeleryFucker420: D E S T R O Y E D

ScienceQueen: okay first of all fuck you

ScienceQueen: second of all FUCK YOU

notacatfurry: rip

UshasSucks: you wish you could 

ScienceQueen: in your dreams

UshasSucks: or in yours ;))))))

ScienceQueen: i’m blocking you

VizzyT: Oh get a room already

UshasSucks: you and the doctor first

VizzyT: i— i — how dare you imply that we’re--

VizzyT: just how dare you.

UshasSucks: it’s obvious

ScienceQueen: pot, meet kettle.

sixisacatfurry: turlough u lost, its ok

CeleryFucker420: But???? Turlough we are?

VizzyT: SHUT UP 

VizzyT: BOTH OF YOU

UshasSucks: I CALLED IT 

UshasSucks: i fucking CALLED IT

notacatfurry: BETRAYAL

notacatfurry: LOSS.PNG

ScienceQueen: loss.png????

UshasSucks: go look it up

ScienceQueen: what the actual fuck humans

VizzyT: Brb going to jump off a cliff!

UshasSucks: insert bbc music here

notacatfurry: :)

VizzyT: I regret joining this chat so much   
UshasSucks: this is so sad alexa play free falling

ScienceQueen: STOP STEALING MY JOKES KOSCHEI

VizzyT: What the fuck

sixisacatfurry: worm


	2. human fetish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the nicknames.... i have no explanation other than that my friends and i are cursed human beings and i'm not sorry

sixisacatfucker: hey. hey. furry. get on

sixisacatfucker: @notacatfurry

**notacatfurry has joined the chat**

notacatfurry: EX

notacatfurry: EXCUS

notacatfurry: PERI

notacatfurry: PERPUGILLIAM BROWN

sixisacatfucker: uwu yes?

**notacatfurry has changed their username to NOTACATFUCKER**

UshasSucks: and you say the rani and i are messes???

NOTACATFUCKER: HOW DARE

sixisacatfucker: i mean

sixisacatfucker: you Are

NOTACATFUCKER: PERPUGILLIAM ILL HAVE YOU KNOW

NOTACATFUCKER: I AM- I AM DISAPPOINTED BEYOND WORDS

ScienceQueen: does this mean you’ll finally shut the fuck up?

UshasSucks: unfortunately doubtful

**NOTACATFUCKER has changed their username to PERIISAFURRY**

sixisacatfucker: valid

PERIISAFURRY: HWREJLK:JKWEJKSDJK:LSD

UshasSucks: #youtried

ScienceQueen: stop hashtagging you fuck

**PERIISAFURRY has left the chat**

UshasSucks: rip in peace

ScienceQueen: DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT RIP STANDS FOR YOU INCOMPETENT EGOIST

UshasSucks: damn that’s harsh

sixisacatfucker: wait no babe,,,,

**PERIISAFURRY has joined the chat**

PERIISAFURRY: no

**PERIISAFURRY has left the chat**

sixisacatfucker: ;__;

UshasSucks: this is so sad alexa play despacito

**sixisacatfucker has changed their username to despacitoincarnate**

despacitoincarnate: babe,,,,,,,,,,, this is so sad,,,,,,,,,,

UshasSucks: i learned a new thing

ScienceQueen: oh no

**UshasSucks has changed PERIISAFURRY’s username to HumanFetishizer**

ScienceQueen: oh my god

**HumanFetishizer has joined the chat**

HumanFetishizer: HOW DARE

HumanFetishizer: I HATE ALL OF YOU

UshasSucks: take a look at yourself, then look at peri, then tell me i’m wrong

HumanFetishizer: SHES SITTING RIGHT ACROSS FROM ME

HumanFetishizer: YOURE WRONG

HumanFetishizer: I DDONT HAVE A HUMAN FETISH YOU FUCK

**UshasSucks has changed despacitoincarnate’s username to FetishizedHuman**

FetishizedHuman: oh m ygod

HumanFetishizer: DONT DRAG HER INTO THIS

**HumanFetishizer has changed their username to ProtectPeriBrown**

ScienceQueen: you’re only proving his point

ProtectPeriBrown: NO

ProtectPeriBrown: NO IM NOT

ProtectPeriBrown: FUCK OFF

**ProtectPeriBrown has changed FetishizedHuman’s username to VaguelyPure**

CeleryFucker420: i just woke up. what the absolute FUCK is going on here

VaguelyPure: honestly no clue im just getting popcorn and watching the shitshow

CeleryFucker420: you’re so valid… peri? right? youre peri? im losing my whole ass mind

VaguelyPure: dhdsljk yeah im peri, aka sixisacatfucker

VizzyT: hey guys

VizzyT: Hey uh

VizzyT: Then Peri(sh)

VaguelyPure: good use of my name, A+

VizzyT: Thanks I try

ProtectPeriBrown: rude

**UshasSucks has changed ProtectPeriBrown’s username to ProtectFurryBrown**

**UshasSucks has left the chat**

**ScienceQueen has left the chat**

CeleryFucker420: is this a meme I should be getting because I don’t get it. Why are you telling Peri to die. turlough i thought we were past this

VaguelyPure: childe…

VaguelyPure: [paps face] stay pure my dude. memes are like drugs. you get lured in and then you never escape

CeleryFucker420: ok first of all i am not a childe i am hundreds of years old

CeleryFucker: second of all, thanks for the warning

VizzyT: I’ll dm you doctor and explain it

VaguelyPure: dont do memes kids

VaguelyPure: c h i l d e

CeleryFucker420: OH 

CeleryFucker420: That’s not funny :/

VaguelyPure: :///////

**GingerLegend has joined the chat**

GingerLegend: i’ve been lurking and the master and the rani disappeared at the same time, how suspicious

ProtectFurryBrown: whomst the fuck is this

GingerLegend: Melanie Bush

VizzyT: Hey another ginger legend!! What’s up?

GingerLegend: i’m peri’s replacement!

ProtectFurryBrown: oh wait hello its been a while

GingerLegend: you stopped drinking carrot juice the minute i left didn’t you

VaguelyPure: rood

ProtectFurryBrown: dabs

VizzyT: FINALLY, A REPLACEMENT

VizzyT: JK JK

VaguelyPure: [gasps]

VaguelyPure: my pwoor wittle furry heart is injured

VizzyT: Oh no I am SO SORRY

VizzyT: F.

VaguelyPure: damn right you pay those respects

CeleryFucker420: owo??????????

VaguelyPure: owo?????? whats this???????????????

CeleryFucker420: I’m not sure, just another thing Turlough taught me about

VaguelyPure: oh rweally

VaguelyPure: blease tell him

VaguelyPure: hes an asshole and should give you more context to memes

**UshasSucks has joined the chat**

**UshasSucks has changed their username to UshasDefinitelySucks**

**ScienceQueen has joined the chat** **  
** ScienceQueen: bITCH

VizzyT: Why would I when it’s hilarious watching him do this

VaguelyPure: fair

ProtectFurryBrown: rip

ProtectFurryBrown: WA IT

ProtectFurryBrown: WHOMST THE FUCK

ScienceQueen: i’ve been in a relationship for ten minutes and i already want to stab him

ScienceQueen: wait

CeleryFucker420: you’ve been in a what now for how long

UshasDefinitelySucks: it’s been a year ushas wyd

ScienceQueen: POINT STANDS ASSHOLE

GingerLegend: I KNEW IT

CeleryFucker420: Anyone else feel vaguely nauseous over this

UshasDefinitelySucks: bc i got laid???

ScienceQueen: how deep are you going to dig this grave of yours koschei

CeleryFucker420: TMI!!!

VizzyT: No, continue please

**VaguelyPure has changed their username to YouGotItImAFurry**

YouGotItImAFurry: dab

YouGotItImAFurry: this is just getting juicy, continue accidentally spilling your life secrets

YouGotItImAFurry: what did you want to name ur first pet?

UshasDefinitelySucks: my first pet was a cat that looked like baby doctor so i wanted to call it “fucking shit theta” but ushas stopped me and his name ended up being delta

VizzyT: uuhh

VizzyT: “Lucifer”. but everyone on Earth said it was a bad name. idk why

VizzyT: He was a goldfish

YouGotItImAFurry: valid. both of you are so valid. im not screenshotting this whaaaaaaat

VizzyT: Then one of the kids at Brendan put him into the school pond and I never got Lucifer back :( wait are you screenshotting this

YouGotItImAFurry: no i told you very specifically that i wasnt

VizzyT: You are , fucker

UshasDefinitelySucks: did you guys know that my girlfriend watches jurassic park on a weekly basis

UshasDefinitelySucks: but only the first one

VizzyT: VERY VALID. Good movie

ScienceQueen: okay koschei two can play at this game

ScienceQueen: did you guys know that he had a velvet dress made for me to match his suit and then dropped it in a fucking lake right before he was supposed to give it to me

ScienceQueen: he also tried to make me an omelet and used a velociraptor egg instead of a chicken egg

ScienceQueen: it was a week from hatching

YouGotItImAFurry: rip

CeleryFucker420: you’re both such disasters. perfect for each other then

UshasDefinitelySucks: I SAID I WAS SORRY

ScienceQueen: SORRY DOESN’T BRING BACK DELTA JUNIOR YOU EMO FUCKLORD

YouGotItImAFurry: delta junior.

VizzyT: emo fucklord.

ProtectFurryBrown: BUT IS IT DELTA OR DELTAHHHHHHHHH?

ScienceQueen: i don’t get it

YouGotItImAFurry: i fuckening hate you

ProtectFurryBrown: dab

UshasDefinitelySucks: is it legal to fight your girlfriend

UshasDefinitelySucks: this is a time sensitive question

ScienceQueen: come at me you edgy bitch i’ll take you tf out 

ScienceQueen: i kneed you in the balls for getting in my way, imagine what else i’m capable of

GingerLegend: YOU SLAPPED THE DOCTOR INTO A MIRROR

ScienceQueen: with a good reason

ProtectFurryBrown: probably not

ProtectFurryBrown: ohhh hahaha i thought you meant you were gonna fight peri

ProtectFurryBrown: no you can fight rani, go for it

YouGotItImAFurry: wait

CeleryFucker420: the master and the rani, a love story for the ages. it’ll go down in history 4 sure

ScienceQueen: go deepthroat a celery

CeleryFucker420: i don’t deepthroat vegetables, contrary to popular opinion!

GingerLegend: do you even read your names anymore

VizzyT: YOUR USERNAME IS LITERALLY CELERYFUCKER420

**CeleryFucker420 has changed their username to CeleryAppreciator**

CeleryAppreciator: There

UshasDefinitelySucks: this is like millennial boys just like “ooh yeah baby i appreciate you” while they’re fucking

YouGotItImAFurry: username changes dont save you from the immortal memory of mel bush

GingerLegend: damn straight

GingerLegend: well

GingerLegend: not entirely straight :/

VizzyT: i’m fucking dying of laughter help

ScienceQueen: then perish

CeleryAppreciator: Mel, I will mindwipe you

GingerLegend: please do, spare me from the pain of knowing this chat exists

VizzyT: Doctor remind me again, why do I love you so much

ProtectFurryBrown: there is no release

CeleryAppreciator: Because uhhhhhh

CeleryAppreciator: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

CeleryAppreciator: Fuck

VizzyT: :/

GingerLegend: gay

YouGotItImAFurry:  gaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy

VizzyT: Gasp???? Am I gay?????? I had no idea

ProtectFurryBrown: i think,,,,,,,.,.,...., you may be,,.,,,.,.,.,.,., g*ay

CeleryAppreciator: Turlough I diagnose you with GAY

CeleryAppreciator: (HAHA THAT’S A MEME I ACTUALLY KNOW)

YouGotItImAFurry: child

VizzyT: Damn u got me

CeleryAppreciator: peri.

YouGotItImAFurry: thats my name dont wear it out

UshasDefinitelySucks: well, this has been fun, but i apparently have a lot of apologising to do

**UshasDefinitelySucks has left the chat**

**ScienceQueen has left the chat**

YouGotItImAFurry: i think the dr started burning something again furry squad OUT

**YouGotItImAFurry has left the chat**

**ProtectFurryBrown has left the chat**

VizzyT: and yeah me n the doctor gotta uh do stuff peace folkz

**VizzyT has left the chat**

**CeleryAppreciator has left the chat**


	3. gay murderers

**GingerLegend has joined the chat**

GingerLegend: WHERE MY GAYS AT

**Fook has joined the chat**

Fook: sleeping binch wyd

**CeleryAppreciator has joined the chat**

**VizzyT has joined the chat**

VizzyT: Doin gay stuff jfc

Fook: oh yeah lmao forgot about my Olden Gay Days

**UshasDefinitelySucks has joined the chat**

UshasDefinitelySucks: please never say that again, i think i have abs from the cringe

Fook: good, you need abs you skinny fuck

**ScienceQueen has joined the chat**

ScienceQueen: yeah lmao

UshasDefinitelySucks: damn okay

VizzyT: R o a s t e d 

**ScienceQueen has changed UshasDefinitelySucks’s username to Edgelord**

**PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame has joined the chat**

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: [soft chanting] roast him roast him roast him

CeleryAppreciator: IM GONNA LOSE IT . PERI WHAT THE FUCK

Edgelord: damn okay thanks

ScienceQueen: you’re welcome sweetie

VizzyT: peri that’s not a great username i must admit

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: fuck you

Fook: oh you have

Fook: wait

CeleryAppreciator: hey now

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: FOOK WHAT

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: UHHHHH

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: I DONT- IM-

VizzyT: im concerned. for once in my life

GingerLegend: FOOK WHO EVEN ARE YOU

Fook: i’m the doctor but better

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: FOOK IM SHOOK

VizzyT: hey that rhymed

**PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame has changed Fook’s username to Fook?MoreLikeShook**

Fook?MoreLikeShook: anyway yeah i did the do with humans, sue me

ScienceQueen: i fucking knew it

**ProtectFurryBrown has joined the chat**

ProtectFurryBrown: YOU CANT JUST SAY SHIT LIKE THAT

CeleryAppreciator: why not

Fook?MoreLikeShook: WATCH ME RAINBOW BITCH

**Fook?MoreLikeShook has changed their username to FookMe**

ProtectFurryBrown: BLEASE NO

VizzyT: GBHFKCDNLXCFV HBFCJNMSKLVFIDJKMS,L

ProtectFurryBrown: OH GOD

ProtectFurryBrown: RUN PERI RUN

**ProtectFurryBrown has left the chat**

CeleryAppreciator: should i be worried about that

VizzyT: nah

FookMe: so anyway my fifth self is a cerulean and in this essay i-

CeleryAppreciator: shut up seriously

FookMe: make me ;)

Edgelord: ILLEGAL

VizzyT: Whats a cerulean

CeleryAppreciator: something i’m not end of discussion

**ScienceQueen has changed their username to QueenBitch**

QueenBitch: yes you are

Edgelord: why

QueenBitch: because you people need to recognise that i’m the best one here

Edgelord: ...

**CeleryAppreciator has left the chat**

**Edgelord has left the chat**

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: fook spill more tea

VizzyT: look at what you’ve done

VizzyT: oooh i love tea what’cha got i live for drama

FookMe: so i’m the latest doctor face and i got tiddies

FookMe: also lowkey in love w my only female companion but that’s just par for the course tbh

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: hmmm

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: [thinking face]

VizzyT: you know what? you’re so fucking valid

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: in case yall are wondering rainbow bitch dr is sitting in the corner whining.

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: also insisting they arent whining

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: fook i fuckening love you

**PCKhan has joined the chat**

PCKhan: why did you make me join this

FookMe: bc ily and you should laugh with me yas

PCKhan: damn you got me

PCKhan: what’s up fuckos i’m yasmin and i’m a gay cop

VizzyT: is this the one you said you were lowkey in love with

FookMe: iodsflkjdlfkjf yeah

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: oh my god viz you cant just tell people the drs gay, they obviously are so lowkey, like wearing rainbow jackets and screaming “im gay” when inconvenienced

VizzyT: MY DOCTOR NEVER DID THAT

FookMe: your doctor wears a vegetable.

VizzyT: I’m jealous

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: its funny until the space cops arrive 

PCKhan: well isn’t this just your lucky day then

VizzyT: i prefer not to think about the vegetable

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: damn

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: you got me

QueenBitch: I HAVE TEA

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: EYES

QueenBitch: SO THE MASTER, AS WE ALL KNOW, LEFT A LITTLE BIT AGO, YES?

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: OUI OUI

VizzyT: oh fuck spill it

QueenBitch: SO SOMEONE SHOWED UP IN MY TARDIS

QueenBitch: LO AND BEHOLD, MY PARTNER GOT STABBED

QueenBitch: SO NOW I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND INSTEAD

**Edgelord has changed their username to QueenOfEvil**

QueenOfEvil: thanks for spoiling it >:(

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: OH HEWWO 

VizzyT: Oh nice join the gay club

PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame: GAY CHAT GAY CHAT GAY CHAT

VizzyT: [gregorian chanting voice] GAY CHAT GAY CHAT GAY CHAT

**PeriBrownsMyNameBeingAFurrysMyGame changed their username to GayFurriesOnlyChat**

QueenOfEvil: Excuse

**GingerLegend has changed the chat name to GAYS AND FURRIES ONLY**

FookMe: MEL IS STILL HERE YAY

GayFurriesOnlyChat: dab

VizzyT: hell yeah squad

GayFurriesOnlyChat: THE ONE TRUE ALLY

PCKhan: god how many of you are furries

VizzyT: Oh. you know

GayFurriesOnlyChat: All

VizzyT: NOT ME ASSHOLE

QueenOfEvil: not a furry here!

QueenBitch: sure. i’m not a furry though

VizzyT: I AM PURE

GayFurriesOnlyChat: YOURE A SCALIE YOU ASSHOLE

VizzyT: THATS NOT THE SAME THING AS A FURRY

GayFurriesOnlyChat: and jesus christ of course youre a furry youre on this chat

GayFurriesOnlyChat: didnt you see the name

GingerLegend: i… i refuse to answer… 

FookMe: oh my god you guys MEL IS A FURRY

FookMe: MEL WHAT’S YOUR FURSONA

GayFurriesOnlyChat: TURLOUGH ITS CLOSE ENOUGH

VizzyT: no it’s not shut up

VizzyT: At least i’m not into vore

GayFurriesOnlyChat: MEL IS A FURRY MEL IS A FURRY AND WE LOVE HER

GayFurriesOnlyChat: AND WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING

VizzyT: that everyone here is into vore

GayFurriesOnlyChat: FALSE IM NOT INTO VORE

GingerLegend: …an elephant…

FookMe: MEL YOU’RE SO VALID SWEETIE WE’RE ALL SO PROUD

VizzyT: prove it, peri

GayFurriesOnlyChat: IM! NOT! INTO! VORE!

QueenOfEvil: but my girlfriend is a scalie and in this essay i-

**QueenOfEvil has left the chat**

GayFurriesOnlyChat: also mel baby u go

GayFurriesOnlyChat: valid

VizzyT: the rani killed her

FookMe: miss keisha??? miss keisha????

PCKhan: oh my fuckin god she fuckin dead

GingerLegend: her girlfriend just fuckin murdered her

GayFurriesOnlyChat: press f to pay respects

VizzyT: Ffffff

GingerLegend: GAY MURDERERS EXIST AND THE RANI IS ONE I HAVE PROOF-

**GingerLegend has left the chat**

VizzyT: oh my god

GayFurriesOnlyChat: GAYS

GayFurriesOnlyChat: I THINK

GayFurriesOnlyChat: THE RANI

GayFurriesOnlyChat: IS KILLING PEOPLE

**GayFurriesOnlyChat has left the chat**

VizzyT: ghfkjdls;.adlkfmgjnfdsm,asxdcfvgn RIP!!

FookMe: you guys holy fuck

PCKhan: MOM HOLY FUCK

FookMe: she couldn’t kill me right???

**VizzyT has left the chat**

**FookMe has left the chat**

PCKhan: IM NOT READY TO BE A WIDOW

**PCKhan has left the chat**

QueenBitch: heh

**QueenBitch has left the chat**


	4. JACKETS ARE NOT SHIRTS

**FookMe has joined the chat**

FookMe: CUPCAKKE IS SO GOOD

**VizzyT has joined the chat**

**CeleryAppreciator has joined the chat**

CeleryAppreciator: yeah ikr, i love cupcakes

VizzyT: oh doctor…. no

**GayFurriesOnlyChat has joined the chat**

GayFurriesOnlyChat: child

**GayFurriesOnlyChat has left the chat**

VizzyT: but yeah i love cupcakke too

CeleryAppreciator: FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME

**VizzyT has changed CeleryAppreciator’s nickname to Childe**

**Childe has left the chat**

VizzyT: :/

**ProtectFurryBrown has joined the chat**

**PCKhan has joined the chat**

ProtectFurryBrown: oof rip

FookMe: ...so anyway Cupcakke

VizzyT: what’s ur fav cupcakKe song? mine’s duck duck goose ;P

FookMe: vagina

PCKhan: of fucking course it is

VizzyT: SO valid

**QueenOfEvil has joined the chat**

QueenOfEvil: does anyone have painkillers without aspirin

PCKhan: why??

QueenOfEvil: different kinds of death

FookMe: wow tmi

QueenOfEvil: do you really wanna have this fight doctor

VizzyT: ashxckjkmlszxcvnfjd

VizzyT: [i keysmash because all bottoms do]

QueenOfEvil: that explains why ushas does it

**QueenBitch has joined the chat**

QueenBitch: i heard you were talking shit

QueenBitch: wait no i just read up

QueenBitch: you right, carry on

VizzyT: holy fuck

FookMe: i knew it

**ProtectFurryBrown has joined the chat**

ProtectFurryBrown: the truth - revealed

**ProtectFurryBrown has changed their username to periValid**

QueenOfEvil: i never thought you’d admit it

QueenBitch: the bedroom is the only time you’re in charge, i can at least give you that

periValid: oh my god

PCKhan: these space gays are wild

FookMe: oh yas

FookMe: you ARE a space gay

periValid: that makes you a Valid

PCKhan: you right

**PCKhan has changed their name to SpaceGay**

FookMe: SPACE GAY SPACE GAY SPACE GAY SPACE GAY

**GayFurriesOnlyChat has joined the chat**

GayFurriesOnlyChat: space gay? space gay.

SpaceGay: maybe space gay can be our always

GayFurriesOnlyChat: dabs

VizzyT: you know, i think we’re ALL space gays

VizzyT: every alien? gay. can confirm

periValid: also confirm, and im a real live alien

GayFurriesOnlyChat: hey wait whats ur username

periValid: you can read cant you

periValid: or do i need to put it into an american translator

**GayFurriesOnlyChat has changed their username to DrSixCanGoFuckThemself**

VizzyT: Wow rude

QueenBitch: it’s true and you should say it

DrSixCanGoFuckThemself: :)

periValid: rude

QueenOfEvil: :}

QueenBitch: oh no

**QueenOfEvil has changed the chat name to SPACE GAYS SPACE GAYS**

VizzyT: so let me get this straight (or gay)

VizzyT: the doctor changes their name to periValid

VizzyT: and peri changes her name to DrSixCanGoFuckThemselves???????????

DrSixCanGoFuckThemself: you see, theyre an asshole

periValid: so youre saying youre not valid

DrSixCanGoFuckThemself: no.

DrSixCanGoFuckThemself. i am not valid.

DrSixCanGoFuckThemself: anyone who says anything to the contrary is lying

VizzyT: i genuinely don’t know what to say to that

VizzyT: at least you’re owning up to it?

**GingerLegend has joined the chat**

GingerLegend: NEW DISCOURSE TIME

GingerLegend: THE DOCTORS ARE FORBIDDEN FROM PARTICIPATING

FookMe: what why??

periValid: RUDE

GingerLegend: IT RELATES TO FASHION AND YOUR OPINIONS ARE INVALID YOU FASHION DISASTERS

periValid: EVEN ME????????

GingerLegend: ESPECIALLY YOU, RAINBOW

QueenOfEvil: i distinctly remember ushas muttering something about rainbow daddy

QueenBitch: STOP SPREADING LIES OH MY GOD

VizzyT: oh my god

VizzyT: Have you SEEN YOURSELF

periValid: SOMETIMES I DONT THINK ANY OF YOU LIKE ME

periValid: :(((((

**periValid has left the chat**

VizzyT: F

GingerLegend: SO ANYWAY

GingerLegend: IF SOMEONE WEARS A BRA UNDER A JACKET BUT NO SHIRT, DOES THE JACKET COUNT AS A SHIRT?? DISCUSS

VizzyT: Absolutely not what the fuck

VizzyT: in what world is that a shirt

DrSixCanGoFuckThemself: of course. next question

DrSixCanGoFuckThemself: TURLOUGH BANNED FOR IDIOT CRIMES

VizzyT: UM WHAT THE FUCK

VizzyT: One, rude as hell. two, it’s not a fucking shirt. this is logic

**DrSixCanGoFuckThemself has changed VizzyT’s username to INVALIDANDBANNED**

INVALIDANDBANNED: Fuck YOU

**INVALIDANDBANNED has changed their username to ValidGayAndNOTbanned**

**DrSixCanGoFuckThemself has changed their username to JACKETS[clap]ARE[clap]SHIRTS**

ValidGayandNOTbanned: you know what. youre just so fucking wrong

**ValidGayandNOTbanned has changed JACKETS[clap]ARE[clap]SHIRTS’s username to JACKETSARENOTSHIRTSANDIAMALOSER**

GingerBitch: this went so much better than expected

SpaceGay: technically not a shirt but it serves the same purpose

**JACKETSARENOTSHIRTSANDIAMALOSER has changed their username to FUCKYOUTURLOUGH**

FUCKYOUTURLOUGH: FUCK YOU TURLOUGH 

FUCKYOUTURLOUGH: JACKETS ARE VALID SHIRTS

**ValidGayandNOTbanned has changed their username to JACKETS.ARE.NOT.SHIRTS**

JACKETS.ARE.NOT.SHIRTS: YOURE JUST BEING MEAN NOW

JACKETS.ARE.NOT.SHIRTS: ANYWAY, I’M RIGHT

FUCKYOUTURLOUGH: NO YOU ARE NOT AND I HATE YOU FOREVER NOW

**Childe has joined the chat**

**Childe has changed their username to The5stDoctor**

FookMe: i can’t believe i used to be like that

The5stDoctor: DONT BE MEAN TO HIM

**periValid has joined the chat**

periValid: i stand with peri. should i start a hashtag

JACKETS.ARE.NOT.SHIRTS: No please no

periValid: too late

periValid: #JacketsAreShirts is now on twitter

periValid: i resisted the urge to add #IStandWithPeri and #TurloughIsWrong but trust me, they were in my hearts

**JACKETS.ARE.NOT.SHIRTS has changed their username to GayslorTurlough**

GayslorTurlough: you know what, i give up

periValid: d a b s


	5. thirsting after the rainbow man

**QueenBitch has joined the chat**

**QueenOfEvil has joined the chat**

QueenBitch: i swear to fucking rassilon that is nOT A GOOD FASHION IDEA YOU ARE W R O N G 

**GayslorTurlough has joined the chat**

GayslorTurlough: are we still going on abt this

GayslorTurlough: hhhh really. seriously

FuckYouTurlough: THEYRE SHIRTS IF YOU NEED THEM TO BE AND THATS THE END OF THE STORY

GayslorTurlough: stop bullying me im gay

QueenBitch: G O D THAT IS NOT WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS

QueenBitch: MY WIFE WANTS TO DRESS LIKE A DEMENTED MARY POPPINS

QueenOfEvil: i look damn good and you know it

FuckYouTurlough: no thats valid

GayslorTurlough: what’s wrong with that???????????????????

**QueenBitch has changed their username to GallifreyanFashionPolice**

GallifreyanFashionPolice: SO ANYWAY MY WIFE IS INCORRECT

GayslorTurlough: i’m. inclined. to take your wife’s side. fashion is different for everyone, yknow uwu

**MadamPresident has joined the chat**

FuckYouTurlough: exactly. me n my dr are supposedly “””unfashionable””” but thats a matter of opinion and frankly i have great fashion and they dont

GayslorTurlough: youre very fashionable Peri

QueenOfEvil: the fifth wears celery and the sixth wears rainbow patchwork, they don’t get opinions here

MadamPresident: dear fucking rassilon what the fuck did i just walk into

FuckYouTurlough: vislor that might be the nicest thing youve said to me, now i gotta change my nick. damn you

GayslorTurlough: hey i’m nice!!! all the time!!

**FuckYouTurlough has changed their nickname to DamnItTurlough**

GayslorTurlough: i guess that’s… somehow better?

DamnItTurlough: no. no you arent.

GayslorTurlough: yes i am…. name ONE INSTANCE i wasn’t nice

DamnItTurlough: binch i have a List

GayslorTurlough: oh really?

DamnItTurlough: yes, obviously, otherwise i wouldnt bring it up

GayslorTurlough: well  _ i  _ have a list too

GayslorTurlough: of all the times you were a fashion disaster

GayslorTurlough: haha i take it back

GayslorTurlough: oh shit that was mean, fuck, maybe you have a point

DamnItTurlough: I Was Gonna Say,

DamnItTurlough: look, another instance for my list. >:3

GayslorTurlough: >:3c =^_^=

DamnItTurlough: Going On The List Bitch

GayslorTurlough: i dont even know anymore

GayslorTurlough: you know what

GayslorTurlough: you fucikgin know wat

GayslorTurlough: i guess that’s valid. i gotta um. uh. go

**GayslorTurlough has left the chat**

DamnItTurlough: damn. i killed him.

DamnItTurlough: fuckign. rip, i guess

QueenOfEvil: wait fuck who joined

MadamPresident: ...really

QueenOfEvil: oh fuck not you

GallifreyanFashionPolice: i can explain

MadamPresident: i don’t know why i’m even surprised at this point

MadamPresident: why is your name so long please fix that

GallifreyanFashionPolice: yeah sure

**GallifreyanFashionPolice has changed their nickname to BadassBitch**

MadamPresident: i don’t know what i expected

BadassBitch: you asked

QueenOfEvil: does that mean i get to ask for stuff and it magically happens

BadassBitch: the stuff i think you’re going to ask for is Not Suitable for a group chat

BadassBitch: especially not with an innocent like the celery boy here

QueenOfEvil: [yagotmethere.jpg]

DamnItTurlough: wait

DamnItTurlough: whomst

DamnItTurlough: who a r e you

MadamPresident: i’m offended

MadamPresident: does the doctor never talk about me???

DamnItTurlough: well they MIGHT if i KNEW WHO YOU WERE

DamnItTurlough: MADAME PRESIDENT IS KINDA V A G U E

MadamPresident: my name is romanadvoratrelundar

MadamPresident: i used to travel with the doctor

MadamPresident: now i’m the fucker in charge of you fucking fucks

DamnItTurlough: thats valid

DamnItTurlough: im peri, im gay, and i never fucking learned how to read

MadamPresident: your educational system must have severely failed you

MadamPresident: i’m kidding jared i know about memes

DamnItTurlough: thank FUCK i thought i was going to have to explain that to you jesus fuck

DamnItTurlough: opinions on rainbow asshole dr. go.

BadassBitch: colourblind. meddles too much. unfairly attractive.

QueenOfEvil: yeah all of that

DamnItTurlough: i w a s n t a s k i n g y o u f u c k s

DamnItTurlough: i was ASKING the president with the copypasta name

MadamPresident: rude. just call me romana.

DamnItTurlough: romanadvoratrelundar

DamnItTurlough: thats a valid name

MadamPresident: he’s a cool uncle, but his coat… yeah that bitch is colourblind

DamnItTurlough: yeah pretty much

DamnItTurlough: i like you. youre fucking rad. join the gay club

MadamPresident: president of that too hunty i have a cute human savage girlfriend who stabs people for me

DamnItTurlough: holy shit

DamnItTurlough: youre Too Powerful

MadamPresident: it runs in the family. powerful women with stab-happy girlfriends.

DamnItTurlough: valid

MadamPresident: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

BadassBitch: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

DamnItTurlough: hey. what. yall are extra Dramatique tonight huh.

DamnItTurlough: can i. get a translation

BadassBitch: let’s put it this way, american.

BadassBitch: i’m the conqueror-queen.

BadassBitch: she’s my heiress.

**periValid has joined the chat**

periValid: WAIT W H A T

QueenOfEvil: aside from raj kahnu but go off i guess

MadamPresident: technicalities 

periValid: SINCE WHEN???? ROMA NA????????????????

MadamPresident: i am literally just like my mother how the fuck did you not k n o w 

MadamPresident: the overcompensation syndrome joke when we met??? mother suggested it!!

periValid: LOOK

periValid: I NEVER SAID THAT REGENERATION WAS S M A R T OR PICKED UP ON S O C I A L C L U E S

QueenOfEvil: oh we know

DamnItTurlough: doctor

DamnItTurlough: when have you Ever picked up on A Social Cue

BadassBitch: speaking as one of his childhood friends… never

QueenOfEvil: i thirsted after that dense motherfucker since i was eight years old and nada

periValid: YOU W H A T

BadassBitch: oh big mood love

periValid: I

periValid: WH

periValid: I DIDNT

periValid: H

**periValid has left the chat**

MadamPresident: press f to pay respects

MadamPresident: f

DamnItTurlough: fff

BadassBitch: f 

QueenOfEvil: F

**DamnItTurlough has changed their nickname to ripinpeacesix**

ripinpeacesix: damn

QueenOfEvil: I’M GONNA SAY A CURSED THING

BadassBitch: oh no

ripinpeacesix: shit

QueenOfEvil: REST IN PEACE RAINBOW DADDY WE ALWAYS DID LOVE YOU EVEN IF YOU ARE A DENSE GODDAMN IDIOT

**MadamPresident has left the chat**

ripinpeacesix: HSDL;KJAFWEJKLKJL;ASJF;LKWELASD

ripinpeacesix: DAMN

ripinpeacesix: I DONT WANNA SAY MOOD, BUT, MOOD

QueenOfEvil: how long have you been thirsting after him, humany one?

ripinpeacesix: shit

ripinpeacesix: no one saw that

**BadassBitch has screenshotted the chat**

ripinpeacesix: GODFUCKDAMNIT

QueenOfEvil: who wants to bet she’s sending that to him right now

ripinpeacesix: I AM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU OH MY GOD

 

**BadassBitch direct messages with periValid**

BadassBitch: [screenshot.jpg]

BadassBitch: you’re welcome, idiot

periValid: h

 

**periValid has joined the chat**

periValid: h

ripinpeacesix: Y O U S A W N O T H I N G

BadassBitch: he saw all of it

BadassBitch: i exposed all three of us just to get to you

periValid: im actually dead

ripinpeacesix: HI DEAD IM SCREAMING AND IN PREPARATION FOR DEATH

**ripinpeacesix has left the chat**

QueenOfEvil: hi screaming and in preparation for death, i’m dad

BadassBitch: i want a divorce

periValid: peri wiat no

periValid: wai

periValid: wait

periValid: hh

**ripinpeacesix has been added to the chat by QueenOfEvil**

ripinpeacesix: NO FUCK YOU

**ripinpeacesix has left the chat**

**ripinpeacesix has been added to the chat by BadassBitch**

**BadassBitch has disabled leaving for [10 minutes]**

BadassBitch: no sexual tension allowed here

BadassBitch: we discuss this like MEN

ripinpeacesix: YOU CANT STOP ME FROM STRAIGHT UP WALKING AWAY FROM MY LAPTOP BITCHES

QueenOfEvil: …

BadassBitch: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT SHUT UP

BadassBitch: YOUR IP ADDRESS IS ON THE DOCTOR’S TARDIS GO HANDLE THIS YOU ASININE CRETIN OR I WILL HANDLE IT FOR YOU AND MURDER MAY BE INVOLVED

ripinpeacesix: MY MURDER?? COOL BEANS, I DONT WANNA LIVE

QueenOfEvil: big mood there

periValid: its okay

periValid: i know she disappeared for a hot second

periValid: but i put her in a room with her laptop and its all thats in there

ripinpeacesix: YOU ARE THE LITERAL ACTUAL WORST

periValid: and im also outside the door. theres no avoiding this. peri must now… [paps face] talk about her emotions

QueenOfEvil: if this doesn’t work out, consider this an open invitation ;))))

BadassBitch: rt

ripinpeacesix: I HATE YOU

QueenOfEvil: honey if he believed women who told him that we wouldn’t be here

ripinpeacesix: HH


	6. peri's wild adventure

periValid: ok

periValid: so after extensive discussion

ripinpeacesix: we talked for 30 minutes is that “extensive discussion”

periValid: shhhhhhhhh

periValid: anyways

periValid: new relationship buds

ripinpeacesix: dab but also, somehow, romantically?

periValid: nevermind we’re breaking up

**IListenToTheRaniNow has joined the chat**

IListenToTheRaniNow: WAIT WHAT THE FUCK IS MY USERNAME

**MadamPresident has joined the chat**

MadamPresident: >:)

**BadassBitch has joined the chat**

BadassBitch: i’m so proud

ripinpeacesix: this. this is your fault

periValid: our relationship. the budding seeds of romance. her fault.

ripinpeacesix: i s2g if you call it “budding seeds of romance” one more time

periValid: its a plant metaphor, i thought you’d like it :(

**IListenToTheRaniNow has changed their nickname to Missy <3**

Missy<3: Seeds, you say?

Missy<3: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ripinpeacesix: HHHHHHHHHH

periValid: HANG ON I NEVER MEANT IT LIKE THAT

BadassBitch: i think my wife thinks about time lord seeds a little too much

MadamPresident: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ripinpeacesix: this is the only time ill accept lennyfaces

Missy<3: *lips touch mic* get used to it kiddo

ripinpeacesix: why would anyone let you learn lennyfaces

Missy<3: i’m old i do what i want

Missy<3: like this

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)                              ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)   
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)                              ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)   
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)                              ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)   
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)                              ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)   
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)                              ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)   
  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)                ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)   
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)                ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)   
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)                ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)   
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)                ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)   
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)                ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

periValid: hmm

ripinpeacesix: GODFUCKING DAMN IT I HATE YOU

Missy<3: honey we all know what you  _ really _ think of me

ripinpeacesix: WH

ripinpeacesix: WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING

Missy<3: that you feel the same way as I do, Thete ;))))

ripinpeacesix: IM P E R I

ripinpeacesix: PERIVALID IS THE DR FUCKSD LKAWEJKJSL;AF;JKE

Missy<3: mistakes were made, but hey… ;))))

BadassBitch: anything with a pulse, my wife

MadamPresident: oh so like my brother’s boyfriend?

BadassBitch: exactly like that.

ripinpeacesix: HHH

ripinpeacesix: IM CRY IN G

periValid: MISSY ARE YOU HITTING ON MY GIRLFRIEND OF LIKE, 2 HOURS ?????????

Missy<3: i could be hitting on you too ;))))))))))

periValid: HELKSAJLJ;DL

ripinpeacesix: YOU FUCKENING BROKE THEM DSHAF;LEJKSJ;

ripinpeacesix: THEY NEVER KEYSMASH

BadassBitch: that could partially be because of the brother thing ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

ripinpeacesix: wait they have a brother?

BadassBitch: well yeah, but i meant the fact that romana has a brother

ripinpeacesix: ah

Missy<3: thete has a brother and he’s a douche, 0/10 would not seduce

ripinpeacesix: noted

periValid: WH

periValid: YOU SEDUCED BRAXIATEL

periValid: WHAT THE FUCK

Missy<3: tried to

Missy<3: he blew me off, the prick

BadassBitch: in the fun way, or?

Missy<3: in the “fuck you” way, not the fun way

periValid: THATS MY B R O T H E R AND YOURE IMPLYING- I- H

**periValid has left the chat**

**CoffeeMate has joined the chat**

CoffeeMate: so… what’d i miss

MadamPresident:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JNRo7OipYc ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JNRo7OipYc)

BadassBitch: sometimes i wish you two were adopted

**periValid has joined the chat**

periValid: OH HAMILTON

periValid: I LIKE THAT. THATS HIP WITH HUMANS RIGHT

ripinpeacesix: h

CoffeeMate: time lord/human relationships are getting awfully common what the fuck

MadamPresident: both of your twins do it and now your old academy crush too

BadassBitch: do Not

ripinpeacesix: idk friend, humans r just. cool, i guess.

periValid: its the lack of higher dimensional forms

Missy<3: okay furry whatever you say

periValid: fuck off

Missy<3: by dating a human you are in fact a cradle robber, change my mind

ripinpeacesix: babe what does that me an

periValid: ITS NOT LIKE THAT

periValid: YOURE FUCKING ANCIENT AND YOU HAD KIDS????? ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT ??? HUH ????????

BadassBitch: i have had kids for quite some time

CoffeeMate: a few centuries now. you’re really as dense as he says, huh?

periValid: i. i dont have a good comeback. this is it. this is when i die

Missy<3: [guessilldie.jpg]

periValid: peri im so sorry i hope my next regeneration is better

ripinpeacesix: damn my nick is super applicable rn huh

periValid: THATS WHAT YOURE GONNA SAY NOW, ON MY DEATHBED,

BadassBitch: i mean i kill you in the future anyway so 

ripinpeacesix: damn, rip in peace six

periValid: YOU  WHAT

BadassBitch: it was kinda fun ngl

Missy<3: RIGHT??? THROWING HIM OFF A RADIO TOWER WAS SO MUCH FUN

periValid: i cant even die in peace huh

BadassBitch: blunt force trauma from his own TARDIS console 

Missy<3: devious. i love it.

periValid: IM SORRY W H A T

CoffeeMate: i-

MadamPresident: there are no words

MadamPresident: he’s too distracted to even get your name

CoffeeMate: not like he’d know me for a few more centuries so… 

MadamPresident: oh yeah valid

ripinpeacesix: so your brother just really likes caffeine. is. is that what youre saying. or is this one of those hip cofefe memes that pop up in my future

CoffeeMate: i make really good coffee for my boyfriend/boss and our coworkers

MadamPresident: he does, his coffee is godlike

ripinpeacesix: valid

CoffeeMate: we also catch aliens, and then i make tea as a therapy thing. i order food for us now too because my idiot coworker ordered pizza under the name of our Top Secret Organisation

ripinpeacesix: “yes hello id like a pizza delivered to Top Secret Organisation. yes, the one on smith street. no, no olives. thanks, bye”

CoffeeMate: HE COULD HAVE ORDERED UNDER AN EMPLOYEE’S NAME, OR A PSEUDONYM, BUT N O, HE H A D TO LET SOME PC JUST FIND OUR ORGANISATION

CoffeeMate: she works for us now though, lovely girl, not great with fidelity though

MadamPresident: isn’t she sleeping with the idiot one?

CoffeeMate: yeah, not that her boyfriend knows

ripinpeacesix: rip

BadassBitch: is your pterodactyl at least doing okay??

CoffeeMate: thriving, i love her

ripinpeacesix: YOU HAVE A PTERODACTYL?????

ripinpeacesix: LUC KYYYYYY

ripinpeacesix: the dr wouldnt even let me get close to the one i met

CoffeeMate: [myfanwy-the-mascot.jpg]

ripinpeacesix: i was really disappointed

periValid: IT WOULD HAVE KILLED YOU

CoffeeMate: [my-pterodactyl-<3.jpg]

ripinpeacesix: SHES SO PRETTY I LOVE HER

ripinpeacesix: DM ME UR ADDRESS I WANNA COME VISIT

periValid: PERI N O

 

**CoffeeMate direct messages with ripinpeacesix**

CoffeeMate: okay so i talked it over with boyfriend/boss

CoffeeMate: how fast can you get to cardiff?

ripinpeacesix: B I N C H I CAN BE THERE YESTERDAY

CoffeeMate: well you run on the doctor’s schedule so…

CoffeeMate: have him land on the cardiff rift next to the water tower

ripinpeacesix: DSLJKAJK;FSD IM GONNA DO IT WE’LL BE THERE AS FUCKING SOON AS WE CAN

 

**ripinpeacesix has joined the chat**

ripinpeacesix: WE HAVE AN ADDRESS DR GET UR ASS INTO THE CONSOLE ROOM IM TAKING OFF

periValid: BABE WAIT  NO

**sexyimmortal has joined the chat**

sexyimmortal: no it’s safe doctor don’t worry

periValid: IM NOT LETTING MY GIRLFRIEND PILOT MY SHIP TO AN UNKNOWN LOCATION TO MEET UP WITH SOMEONE I DONT KNOW YET JUST SO SHE CAN P ET A PTERODACTYL

**spikyhairhotface has joined the chat**

spikyhairhotface: hello past me, it’s safe, jack’s an idiot but he keeps people safe

periValid: ITS A FUCKING PTERODACTYL DOCTOR, ITLL KILL HER

spikyhairhotface: i’m literally your future self, she doesn’t die and she gets to ride myfanwy

spikyhairhotface: can i go now

ripinpeacesix: THEN RIP ME, ILL HAVE DIED PE T T I NG A PTERODACTYL

ripinpeacesix: I GET TO R I D E A PTERODACTYL HOL Y SH IT

sexyimmortal: yeah dismissed thanks doc

ripinpeacesix: YES YOU CAN GO HOLY FUCK

periValid: HHHHH FINE

**spikyhairhotface has left the chat**

Missy<3: FUCK I MISSED THE HOT ONE

periValid: HEY

periValid: I THOUGHT I WAS AT LEAST ONE OF THE PASSABLE ONES

Missy<3: [doctortenth.jpg]

ripinpeacesix: DISCOURSE LATER PTERODACTYL N O W

**ripinpeacesix has left the chat**

**periValid has left the chat**


	7. Poodleman

**CoffeeMate has joined the chat**

CoffeeMate: jack

CoffeeMate: i love you dearly

CoffeeMate: but if you don’t stop blasting memes over the goddamn pa i’m going to kill you

**sexyimmortal has joined the chat**

sexyimmortal: i just want boneless pizza

**ripinpeacesix has joined the chat**

ripinpeacesix: CAN I GET UHHH BONELESS BIZZA

**BadassBitch has joined the chat**

BadassBitch: no you may fucking not

ripinpeacesix: :(

ripinpeacesix: please ?

BadassBitch: shouldn’t myfanwy have eaten you by now?

ripinpeacesix: NO BC SHE LOVES ME AND I LOVE HER

CoffeeMate: please do not fuck my pterodactyl, this has been a psa

ripinpeacesix: WH

ripinpeacesix: NO

ripinpeacesix: ITS ENTIRELY PLATONIC LOVE

ripinpeacesix: I DONT WANNA FUCK A PTERODACTYL, I JUST WANNA GIVE HER A HUG AND LET HER KNOW THAT I FUCKING ADORE HER

sexyimmortal: at least you two won’t get pregnant. never doing that again.

ripinpeacesix: PREGONANANT

**Missy <3 has joined the chat**

Missy<3: am i gregnant

BadassBitch: i thought you were marathoning the teletubbies

ripinpeacesix: HOW IS PRANGENT FORMED

CoffeeMate: girlfriend aint had period since she got pregat

sexyimmortal: being pregnant sucks

BadassBitch: yeah

ripinpeacesix: rip im sorry

BadassBitch: dont have kids perpugilliam its not worth it

CoffeeMate: gee thanks

ripinpeacesix: thanks for the advice i wasnt exactly planning on it

BadassBitch: use condoms with the doctor he’s not really cut out for parenting

ripinpeacesix: H

ripinpeacesix: was. was this required content

BadassBitch: yeah

ripinpeacesix: Thanks For The Advice

**Missy <3 has changed their username to ripinpeacesix~**

ripinpeacesix~: my name is peri brown and i’m a furry who’s sleeping with the doctor nya~

BadassBitch: i am seriously contemplating a divorce

ripinpeacesix: wh- what the fuck missy

**ripinpeacesix has changed their username to Missy <3**

Missy<3: hi im missy and im a furry with a fursuit in my closet my fursona is a fox rawr XD XD *nuzzles*

ripinpeacesix~: @periValid doctor i love uwu

**periValid has joined the chat**

periValid: i hate all of you

periValid: also peri you’re so fucking right

**FookMe has joined the chat**

FookMe: yup sure whatever you say, mister has-a-poodle-fursuit-in-the-tardis

periValid: hEY FUCK YOU FURRY

periValid: I DONT HAVE A POODLE FURSUIT

FookMe: I AM LITERALLY YOU

 

**FookMe direct messages with Missy <3**

FookMe: the back closet of the wardrobe, the combination is 123456

FookMe: i am not a creative person and never have been

Missy<3: dabs thanks

Missy<3: also we been knew hon

 

**Missy <3 has joined the chat**

Missy<3: [oh-really.jpg]

periValid: HOW DID YOU FIND THAT

FookMe: i told her how to find it

Missy<3: :3

BadassBitch: i really like the girl one

ripinpeacesix~: me too

periValid: P-PERI, ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK

**FookMe has changed periValid’s username to Poodleman**

Missy<3: I WONT HESITATE, B I T C H

Poodleman: FUCK YOU, FUTURE ME

FookMe: as intriguing as selfcest might be, i’m gonna pass

Poodleman: T H A T S N O T W H A T I M E A N T

FookMe: major lesbian here and also fuckin eyes @BadassBitch @ripinpeacesix~

Poodleman: 1) VALID 2) I AM NOT BAD-LOOKING; IM JUST AN ACQUIRED TASTE

Poodleman: DONT MAKE THAT AN INNUENDO I SWEAR TO RASSILON

Missy<3: yeah ily but you are Definitely an acquired taste

**ItTrakenBitch has joined the chat**

ItTrakenBitch: the sound i just heard rani make was nowhere even close to human or gallifreyan

Missy<3: e;jskjk;asjkjkd

BadassBitch: that,,,, wasn’t,,,, for the dr,,,,,

**BadassBitch has left the chat**

**ripinpeacesix~ has left the chat**

ItTrakenBitch: i dont know what i expected

Poodleman: N Y S S A

Poodleman: HELLO HOW ARE YOU

ItTrakenBitch: i miss my girlfriend she went home for a few days

**StillNotHeathrow has joined the chat**

StillNotHeathrow: surprise motherfucker

ItTrakenBitch: T E G A N M Y L O V E 

Poodleman: T E G A N HELLO AGAIN HOWS LIFE

StillNotHeathrow: HELLO AGAIN DOCTOR YOUR NAVIGATION IS SHIT

Missy<3: YES VERY MUCH I CAN ATTEST

Missy<3: I LIKE YOU ALREADY IM PERI IM GAY

StillNotHeathrow: ARENT YOU THE ONE DATING THE DOCTOR NOW

Missy<3: YEAH

StillNotHeathrow: THE COLOURBLIND ONE??

ItTrakenBitch: I DONT THINK HE KNOWS HES COLOURBLIND TEGAN SHHH

Poodleman: NO IM N O T COLORBLIND SHUT THE FUCK UP

Missy<3: hon,,,,,, hon. h o n.

Missy<3: (yes the colorblind one)

Poodleman: FUCK OFF PERI

ItTrakenBitch: [coat.jpg]

ItTrakenBitch: Doctor what colours are on this coat

Poodleman: uhhhh. the colorful ones.

Poodleman: IM JOKING I CAN SEE PURPLE AND UHHH. GRAY. ISNT THERE YELLOW TOO. PERI’S MENTIONED YELLOW. I THINK.

Missy<3: oh my god

StillNotHeathrow: literally every colour in existence is on that coat it looks like a unicorn puked on it

Poodleman: SO I WAS R I G H T

ItTrakenBitch: unicorn vomit is bright orange actually

StillNotHeathrow: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT

ItTrakenBitch: the rani and i did an experiment

StillNotHeathrow:   
⠀⠀⠀⣴⣴⡤

⠀⣠⠀⢿⠇⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⢷⡗

⠀⢶⢽⠿⣗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡧⠂⠀⠀⣼⣷⡆

⠀⠀⣾⢶⠐⣱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣜⣻⣧⣲⣦⠤⣧⣿⠶

⠀⢀⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⡹⣿⣷

⠀⢸⣿⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

⠀⠿⠃⠈⠿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⠿⠿⠿

⠀⢀⢀⡀⠀⢀⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⡀

⠀⣿⡟⡇⠀⠭⡋⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣟⢿

⠀⣹⡌⠀⠀⣨⣾⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⠔⠌

⠰⣷⣿⡀⢐⢿⣿⣿⢻⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⡿⡤⣴⠄⢀⣀⡀

⠘⣿⣿⠂⠈⢸⣿⣿⣸⠀⠀⠀⢘⣿⣿⣀⡠⣠⣺⣿⣷

⠀⣿⣿⡆⠀⢸⣿⣿⣾⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣗⣻⡻⠿⠁

⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁

ItTrakenBitch: tegan what the fresh hell

Missy<3: uhh tegan, is it?

Missy<3: *lips touch mic* please take this back

StillNotHeathrow: no fuck u

Missy<3: rood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/455595447113744403/477587303678607371/six_is_a_poodle.jpg?width=400&height=260
> 
> This is most of the inspiration about the whole poodle!Six thing


End file.
